!! Expectations And Relationships !!

Expectations And Relationships


Every relationship is a give and take. Even the relationship between a mother and her children is based on this. The children give an opportunity to their mother to love them and feel happy in the process. A mother will feel great resentment if her child seeks love from others than from her. In an ideal situation, every relationship should be without any give and take. But unfortunately one of them will always be there. If you are the giving type, your relationships will be based on giving and so on. Till now there is no problem in the relationship. The problem arises with expectations.

Let us look at romantic relationships. The main reason for a break-up in romantic relationships is expectation - either stated or hidden. One of the partners may be the giving type. He/She may keep on giving and expect nothing but loyalty in return. This is the take side of the relationship. When that loyalty is not given, the giver feels betrayed and hurt. He/She did so much for their loved one and could not even get loyalty in return. To expect everyone to behave like a saint and say that it is ok and forget and forgive will be very difficult. It does not normally happen.

Let us take a normal example of a pair where both give and get something in return from the partner. In this kind expectations may play a different kind of role. I am giving a lot, but he/she never wanted that. His/her expectations from me were different and remained unsatisfied. My expectations in return will also remain unsatisfied, because my partner is not happy with what I am giving. This forms a vicious circle and may kill the relationship with a bitter end. What is the way out?

If both the partners state their expectations clearly and are clear about what to give and what to expect in return, then the conflict can be controlled. The relationship may no longer look like one made in heaven but it will not end in a very bitter fight. In the beginning of the first phase of romantic love this will be difficult, but as the relationship matures, both partners must arrive at an understanding of expectations to see themselves through for a lasting relationship.