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 | Subject: Dictionary for women  2008-06-03, 00:22 | |
| - Quote :
- credit goes to sonu
Dictionary for womenArgument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath.
..push... "
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of
your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and
neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers. "
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card
Funny SMSWhen i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone
should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition ...!!! ....
Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...
Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I
dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is
beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn¢t it rain on you?
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i
lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life &
who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!
Jump out of the plane
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country
on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says "
We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the
next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of
you can survive"
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
I just had a dream about it
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she
told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The
meaning of dreams" |
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