!~~CAREER OR KIDS!!~~(REPLY)

Career or Kids?



Many mothers are often confronted with the dilemma of choosing between their jobs or careers, and their children.


What mothers first need to realize is that having one does not require sacrificing the other. Telling yourself that you need to choose between your job and your children implies that you feel if you select one, you lose the other. This, as any working mother will tell you, is far from the truth. However, there are other aspects you need to keep in mind.

When you have children, your responsibilities and work at home increases. You have to cook for more people, you have to shop for more people - you need to take the time out to help your children with their homework, clean up after them, drop and pick them up from their various activities, entertain them, spend time with them and still ensure that all chores are completed on schedule. If you add a full time job to your schedule, many mothers feel that they will not be able to cope - with good reason. There are only 24 hours in a day, and you can only fit in so much. What you may not be able to fit in is spending time with the children.


Does this have an adverse effect on the children?

The answer is, surprisingly, no. In fact, mothers with careers have a positive impact on children, as they serve as good role models. Such mothers tend to emphasise education, and also manage to spend quality time with their children. Thanks to the dual income, the standard of living is higher, children get access to better quality education and extra-curricular activities.

Often, in dual income families, both parents tend to be highly educated, as a result of which the child takes education more seriously. Naturally children whose mothers don't work could also shine in school, but at least what is certain is that a working mother doesn't have a negative impact at all on the child - if anything - the impact is positive.

What you need to figure out is, can you cope with work in the house and in the office? If it is getting to be too much, consider hiring help. As long as you earn a good chunk more than what you pay your help, it's worth it. Also, delegate chores to your children. This will not only take a load off your shoulders, but it will also help make your children more responsible and independent.

Needless to say, if you and your husband both have full time jobs, both should help out with housework. If the entire family does their share, the job will get done quickly, and you will have more time to spend together as a family.

So if you ever felt that being away at work will somehow harm your kids, remember that it will not. However, you may miss your kids more than they will miss you - and you may not be around them as much as you like. This is one sacrifice you will definitely have to make - and while it may not harm your kids, it may cause you to have pangs of longing every now and again. You may be stuck in a meeting when you'd much rather be at home hugging your children. Sure, you can hug them a few hours later, but if you find staying away from them too much to bear, quit your job! Similarly, if work gives you a high, continue with it. After all, a happy mother is far more important than one that's around all the time.